For years I’ve been told by coach after coach, social media post after social media post, course after course, that I need to be consistent to be successful.
That consistency is what I lack.
That I need to be on social media daily.
That I need to sell daily.
That I need to show up daily.
That this is why I’m not where I want to be.
And I’ve beaten myself up time and time and time and time again because I just *couldn’t* be consistent, no matter how hard I tried.
(ahem, notice how I’ve had a massive break from writing to you? 😳)
I’d have weeks where I was so in flow, content poured out of me, my fingers typed so fast they could catch fire, idea after idea came and I’d feel like I could take over the world.
Then I’d have a massive crash.
Be unable to move.
Unable to think.
Unable to be creative or visible or consistent.
Unable to do anything but put on a Netflix series I’d binged before.
And then the shame would come.
Shame that I couldn’t be consistent.
Shame that I couldn’t achieve my goals.
Shame that I couldn’t stay in that flow state.
Shame that my body wouldn’t allow me to keep going.
Shame I couldn’t do what the coaches told me to.
Shame I couldn’t be like them.
Shame that once again I’d crashed.
Turns out, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
My brain just works differently.
I have ADHD.
Not a professional diagnosis (yet?) but all the signs, symptoms, struggles AND superpowers are there.
Because yes, it’s a fucking superpower.
I’m just not fully show how to manage it yet or use it to its full potential.
So sod the consistency, the shame, the trying to be like everyone else.
I’m doing things my way. Once and for all.
Launches don’t work for me.
Selling daily doesn’t work for me.
Showing up on socials everyday doesn’t work for me.
Doing things their way doesn’t work for me.
I’m still learning what *does* work for me but I’m feeling confident in the direction I’m headed.
And like a massive weight’s been lifted off my shoulder.
It’s not just me. There’s nothing wrong with me. My brain just works in a different way to the typical way we expect it to.
Consistency used to determine how successful I felt.
The more consistent I was, the more I praised myself because I was doing what I *should* be doing.
I celebrated my commitment and drive.
I told myself that this time, this time the consistency would stick.
But now I’ve let go of the idea that consistency = success.
Consistency might mean success for some people but I don’t have space for it in my definition of success any longer.
I can feel successful everyday, consistent or not, because I’ve created my own definition of success.
I encourage you to do the same and if you need a little help, you can listen to this podcast episode: How to Create Your Own Definition of Success
Your inner wisdom is always going to be more powerful than someone who’s trying to tell you to do things their way.
Now yes, there’s power in learning from people. Absolutely. But when you’re learning something from someone else and you’re trying to implement their methods but it a) doesn’t feel good and b) isn’t getting results, it’s time to step back and go inward.
This is what I love about coaching and working with coaches. They’re able to ask you powerful questions that help you to discover the answers for yourself, from within yourself. Answers that you didn’t know were there until you were asked the right questions.
But you don’t need to rely on a coach to figure out what to do to achieve the success you desire.
How to listen to yourself more
Tuning into your inner wisdom takes practice. It’s a habit we need to form because, as we’ve grown up, we’ve been guided away from hearing our intuition and instead we’re encouraged to follow society or listen to what we’re being told by others.
To reconnect with yourself and your inner knowing, start by asking yourself this simple question: What do I need today?
Once you’ve heard what your body needs, honour those needs and do that thing.
Now it may be hard to begin with, especially if you’re very disconnected from yourself.
But as you begin to practice asking yourself what you need, you’ll soon start to notice your inner voice becoming louder.
Meditation and journaling are two fantastic exercises to help you connect with yourself.
When you sit quietly, eyes closed and focusing on your breath, you’re able to calm the thoughts rushing through your mind. As you become still and relaxed in your body, it becomes easier to tune into what you want, the messages coming from your body and any inspired guidance from your intuition.
When it comes to journaling, you can simply write a letter to your intuition or allow yourself to free write after your meditation. Use this tool when you need support in making a decision, when you’re feeling stuck or you need to uncover why you’re lacking motivation.
The more you practice listening to your inner guidance, the louder it’ll become.
So that when you see advice telling you you need to behave in a certain way - like how I was told I need to be consistent to be successful - you can check in with yourself and see if that feels good to you or not.
Since I’ve let go of the pressure to be consistent, I feel so much lighter.
The truth is, I’m visible every day thanks to the way I market my business using Pinterest, podcasting, YouTube and long form content marketing. So even though I might not be posting on Instagram, I’m actually very consistent in the background. Just not the way I *should* be being consistent.
I hope you’ve found this helpful and I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I’ve shared. As much as I’m keen to continue sharing with you on a weekly basis, I’m not going to promise you’ll receive a weekly email anymore. What I will promise is that everything I share with you will come from my heart and I’ll always strive to provide you valuable tips that you can walk away and implement.
Rebecca Hawkes is a Confidence & Life Coach. Listen to The Confidence Show podcast here. For help increasing your confidence 1:1, book a session at the Confidence Clinic. Visit Rebecca’s website here and follow her on Twitter here. Enjoying Rebecca’s content but don’t want to commit to a monthly subscription? You can buy her a cocktail to show your support here 🍸