Everything You Need to Know About Affirmations
Affirmations 101: What they are, why you need them + how to use them effectively
The first time I saw affirmations being used was in an episode of Sex and the City
Charlotte and Carrie had gone to a seminar about finding love and Charlotte had stood up, shared that she was repeating her affirmations every day but Mr Right still hadn’t shown up.
The host had criticised her, saying she probably just wasn’t trying hard enough and Carrie stood up and said “Believe me, she is”.
I didn’t take much notice of affirmations then but when I became a business owner, I started to take mindset work more seriously. When I invested in a 1:1 coach to help me increase both my confidence and success in my business, one of the tools she mentioned was affirmations.
I realised then that I’d been using affirmations for years, I just didn’t know that’s what they were called
Between the ages of 18-20 years old, I was too afraid to leave the house. A phobia of people being sick meant that I believed if I were to go outside, someone would be sick near me or I’d catch a sickness bug and be sick myself.
For years I repeated this story over and over, focusing on the 3 occasions this had actually happened in my 18 years on the planet and discounting the millions of times it hadn’t happened.
Instead of facing my fears, I fell victim to them. I’d repeatedly tell myself “I can’t go out” or “I’m scared to go out” and it became true.
When I was nearly fired from my job for calling in sick so often, I realised I needed to make a drastic change to my life. I realised I wasn’t living, I was (barely) existing.
I started to change the way I spoke to myself and instead of repeating “I can’t do this” I started to repeat the affirmation “I can do anything I put my mind to”.
In different situations, when I was out of my comfort zone or felt like I’d have a panic attack, I’d repeat this affirmation over and over and over again.
By repeatedly telling myself “I can”, it soon became my reality: within the space of a year, I’d quit my 9 to 5, fallen in love and booked a round the world backpacking trip. SOLO.
Affirmations are a powerful tool to help increase confidence and self esteem
There are plenty of affirmations you can use depending on your goal but one of the most effective ways to use affirmations is by creating your own based on a new belief you want to form or by rewriting the limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
The term affirmation is defined in the Cambridge English Dictionary as: a statement or sign that something is true.
When we repeat a statement to ourselves that we want to be true, overtime, we start to believe it because our subconscious can’t distinguish between the truth and a lie.
Our thoughts become our beliefs and our beliefs become our reality.
EXAMPLE
You tell yourself over and over again that you’re scared of snakes. This manifests itself into your reality and soon, whenever you see a snake, you feel afraid. You’ve told your brain you’re afraid of something so your brain has caused your body to react with fear.
Try it for yourself
Here’s a fun little experiment that I created to prove the power of affirmations.
Start to repeat this affirmation daily: “I always find money on the floor”.
Since I started repeating this affirmation, I find money everywhere. Not just 1p either. 10p, 20p, £1 coins — I even found a £5 note at the airport recently!
Now it doesn’t happen every single time but what I don’t do is tell myself this doesn’t work if the money doesn’t show up. I still keep telling myself I always find money on the floor.
This is now my dominant thought that has become a belief and, as we can see above, has also become my reality.
Use this affirmation for a few weeks and see what happens. Feel free to report back too!
How to Create Affirmations
Have a think about a new belief you would like to create for yourself.
It could be that you want more confidence in yourself or you want to make more money in your business. Be specific about what you want to achieve and start thinking of sentences that you feel connected to.
Here are a few examples:
My confidence in myself is growing everyday
Money comes to me easily and effortlessly
I know I’m on the right path towards the success I dream of
I am worthy of being loved for who I am
These can simply be based on what you would like to believe about yourself.
Creating Affirmations from Limiting Beliefs
Instead of choosing a general belief to form, you can use affirmations to rewrite any limiting beliefs that are preventing you from having what you desire.
A limiting belief is simply a belief that isn’t serving you or helping you move forward. For example: I’m not a confident person.
First of all, we need to uncover the negative belief that you want to change. Perhaps you think it’s hard to make money online or you believe you’re not worthy of being loved.
When you have the limiting belief, you need to rewrite it into a new, empowering belief that then becomes an affirmation.
Let’s look at a couple of examples from some of the limiting beliefs I’ve had over the past few years and how I’ve rewritten them into empowering beliefs/affirmations:
It’s hard for me to make money >> Making money is easy, effortless and comes naturally to me
I don’t know what I’m doing (and therefore can’t be successful) >> I always know the right thing to do
I’m not good enough >> I am always enough just because I am me
Do you see how these can be rewritten to the complete opposite?
Once you have your new affirmation, it’s important to start repeating it daily to reprogram your mind and change your beliefs.
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How to Use Affirmations
Once you’ve created an affirmation (or four!), it’s time to start using them on a daily basis. Here are 4 ways you can use affirmations to create new, empowering beliefs:
Write them
Read them
Repeat them
Listen to them
Write Affirmations in Your Journal
First up, write them.
Using your journal or a notebook specifically for affirmations, write out your affirmations daily.
The more you write them, the quicker you’ll notice a difference but we also need to be realistic. Putting pressure on ourselves to write them 100 times a day instantly makes it feel like a chore and when we can’t stick to it, we fall into the pattern of feeling guilty. This is counterproductive.
Instead, aim for around 20 times per day, depending on how many affirmations you use at a time. I like to stick to 3-5 affirmations at any one time and I normally change these monthly or depending on what my current goals are.
Read Your Affirmations
I mentioned writing your affirmations in a specific journal or notebook because you can then go back and read through them time and time again. If you mix them with your daily journaling where you’re writing whatever’s in your mind, you’ll end up reading back through negative emotions which we don’t want.
You may also choose to stick them on post it notes around your room or write them on individual pieces of paper, fold them up and put them in an affirmations jar. Each day you can pull out a new affirmation and repeat that as your affirmation of the day.
Re-reading your affirmations is a great way to use affirmations and start to reprogram your mind full of positive beliefs.
Repeat Your Affirmations
If you could peek inside my head, you’d hear me repeating my affirmations all day long. When I’m in the shower, when I’m working, when I’m taking the dog for a walk, even when I’m scrolling on social media.
I like to repeat my affirmations to myself because I’ve found this to be the most effective way to use affirmations for me personally.
When I need a quick confidence boost, I’ll play my favourite songs and shout my affirmations out loud or stand in front of the mirror and repeat them.
This definitely feels weird at first and you may feel a little self-conscious but let me ask you this: What’s more important - what people think of you or the success you’re able to achieve in life because of your affirmations?
It’s your decision: repeat them out loud or repeat them in your head.
Listen on a Loop
This is the easiest way to use affirmations. Start by writing them out and then record yourself repeating your affirmations with the app ThinkUp. Using the free version, you can record up to 3 affirmations. Then, all you have to do is go to the practice tab and you can play your affirmations on repeat, alongside relaxing music.
I love to do this when I’m in the bath, when I’m putting on makeup or as I’m drifting off to sleep.
It’s much easier to reprogram your mind with your own voice as your subconscious recognises it.
As with anything, we all learn in different ways so it’s entirely up to you how you choose to use affirmations. The most important thing is to be consistent and use them on a daily basis. You might even want to mix it up depending on the day.
Affirmations are the quickest, easiest way to boost confidence, improve self esteem and transform your mindset. Give it a go and let me know what you think!
Rebecca Hawkes is a Confidence & Life Coach. Listen to The Confidence Show podcast here. For help increasing your confidence 1:1, book a session at the Confidence Clinic. Visit Rebecca’s website here and follow her on Twitter here. Enjoying Rebecca’s content but don’t want to commit to a monthly subscription? You can buy her a cocktail to show your support here 🍸